


Fugitive Pilot

by merryghoul



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Community: unconventionalcourtship, Episode: s10e01 The Pilot, F/F, First Kiss, Harlequin, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 04:53:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11844333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryghoul/pseuds/merryghoul
Summary: THE BEST WOMAN…IN EVERY WAYWatching her potential girlfriend constantly ask about leaving her surroundings is Bill Potts’ worst nightmare…until she and the would-be girlfriend are kidnapped by River Song. River knows a sentient creature wants Heather Carew out of the picture.  Until River can get them all to safety, all that stands between Heather and fusion is canteen assistant Bill.Moments away from unintentionally fusing with a sentient creature, Heather's life is turned upside down. Now the woman she's always considered her new friend has transformed into some kind of sexy special agent. Bill is prepared to do anything to stop the creature and secure Heather’s safety. But who's keeping Heather’s heart safe from Bill?(Summary modified from Fugitive Bride by Paula Graves.)





	Fugitive Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this before “The Doctor Falls.” I kept at it because although I’m happy Bill and Heather did end up together, I wanted more moments with them interacting that weren’t seen in canon, and I wanted them to stay human. The sentient oil, for this AU, differs from how it’s used in Series 10.
> 
> I gave Heather a last name to keep her first meeting with River in my story from being awkward. Heather’s last name was taken from another character Heather’s actress, Stephanie Hyam, played in Jekyll and Hyde. 
> 
> Other than that, this is a Harlequin AU/canon divergence AU featuring a River Song prior to the events of “The Husbands of River Song.” 
> 
>  
> 
> And now, in true Harlequin style, I present a:
> 
> CAST OF CHARACTERS
> 
> Heather Carew—A student at St. Luke’s University, Bristol, she’s obsessed with a puddle in a service area near the university. But the puddle is not what it seems to be.
> 
> Bill Potts—A canteen assistant at St. Luke’s, she’s been seeing Heather for a few months, but Heather’s not her girlfriend...yet. The puddle in the service area will change everything for Bill, however…
> 
> River Song—Why is one of the galaxy’s most renowned archaeologists and the Doctor’s wife in Bristol?

There were two things Bill noticed when she first met Heather. One, Heather talked a lot about wanting to leave. Bill thought at first Heather wanted to leave the bar—the music sounded like the current Capital South Coast playlist, the bar was getting noisier by the minute, and the lights were too bright. Then Heather continued talking about leaving, even as they left the bar. Two, there was a woman with curly reddish blonde hair sitting at a table, drinking a shot of something. Bill thought the woman seemed out of place at the bar. But then Bill forgot about the woman.

  


Bill noticed Heather liked chips, just as much as the girl she tried to woo when she first started working in the canteen at St. Luke’s University. For the longest time Bill thought the girl she tried to woo gained weight because she gave her chips all the time. They bumped into each other before Bill started one of her shifts, and Bill apologized for giving her chips all the time. But the girl said it wasn’t Bill’s fault that she gained weight, that she had other issues she felt caused her to gain weight. Bill closed her eyes whenever she thought about her first crush, to block the misunderstanding from her mind, but sometimes that incident lingered in her head when she was on the chip line.

Bill didn’t realized there was something off about Heather asking for chips, as if she was possessed by a robot or a spirit. She did notice the reddish blonde-haired woman again, flipping through what looked like an aged book. And then Bill didn’t think about the woman, assuming she was a local who liked the food in the canteen.

  


After Bill learned there was some sort of hidden passage under the building the Doctor had his offices in, she found Heather was sitting on a bench. While Bill was talking to Heather about the defect in her eye, the reddish blonde-haired woman walked by them, carrying a satchel on her right shoulder.

  


Months later, Bill found Heather staring at the puddle again. Bill told Heather that the puddle, which was displaying her reflection in an unusual way, that the puddle was still reflecting her image wrong. Heather told Bill she’d tell Bill what was wrong with her image. “Promise you won’t go?” Bill asked Heather, and Heather agreed.

It was when Bill tried to leave the service area that she felt an arm wrap around her waist. And then, in seconds, she was gone from the service area.

  


Bill blinked her eyes. In front of her was a silver console with something with levers and buttons around it. The walls were lined with circles around the walls. The reddish blonde-haired woman, wearing a large bracelet on her right arm, pressed buttons and pulled levers on the console. Heather was near the reddish blonde-haired woman.

“Hello,” Bill said to the reddish blonde-haired woman.

“Hello, sweetie. Can you take your friend’s hand? I need you to keep an eye on her.”

“Sure.” Bill took Heather’s hand. She looked up shyly at Heather. “Hello.”

“Hello,” Heather said.

“How’d I get in this kitchen?” Bill asked the reddish blonde-haired woman.

The reddish blonde-haired woman chuckled. “Oh, no, this isn’t a kitchen. Although I don’t blame you for thinking it’s a kitchen.” The reddish blonde-haired woman offered her hand to Bill. “By the way, I’m River Song.”

“Bill Potts.”

“Heather Carew.”

“Bill, Heather, I’ll have to make this brief. One, we are in a spaceship.” River pulled down a monitor from the console and turned it on. “This is what’s happening outside this spaceship now.”

“All I see are a lot of stars,” Heather said.

“That’s the view outside this TARDIS.”

Bill squinted at the monitor. “That’s an odd name for a spaceship.”

“It’s an acronym. Usually it’s Time and Relative Dimensions in Space.” River shrugged. “Depends on who’s in charge of naming these ships. But we don’t have time to go through the history of that.”

“I thought spaceships were named after things,” Bill said. “Like _Apollo_ or the _Millennium Falcon._ ”

“This spaceship’s not from Earth.”

Bill looked at River. “Does that mean _you’re_ not from Earth?”

“I am...sometimes.”

“What kind of answer is that?”

“One that works for me, Bill. As for this spaceship, you’ll have to ask the Doctor. He owns it. He’s not open about a lot of his secrets. Give it time. And if you need to, pretend like you never met me. I bet he thinks I’m dead. I’m not. Not yet.” River gave Bill a wink.

“Why are you stealing his spaceship?” Bill was irritated. “Are we going to be arrested for stealing a spaceship in space?”

River laughed. “That’s hard to do in space. And he was the one who stole this ship first. I’m taking it for a joyride. Ask him someday, when he’s not cranky.”

“How do you know the Doctor?”

“Bill, sweetie, I’m his wife.”

“He doesn’t seem like the marrying type to me.”

River chuckled again. “Oh, he is. I told you he has secrets. You two keep an eye on each other. Do you remember what you both thought was a puddle in Bristol?”

Bill and Heather nodded.

“That’s not a puddle. That’s a sentient spaceship. Sentient oil, if you will, that can fly through time and space.” River pointed at Heather. “And it wants Heather to be its pilot.”

“Why does that spaceship want me as its pilot?”

“I’m not sure how it works yet. But I’m guessing it heard you once saying you wanted to leave Bristol. You want to leave Bristol, the oil wants to leave earth—you’d be the perfect pilot for the oil’s wartime efforts.”

Heather froze. “Wartime efforts?”

“The oil was created by androids to consume their enemies. Once the oil consumes its enemies, it pretends to be the enemy until the enemy is defeated. We’re heading to the planet of these androids to trap one of their enemies, and to get this oil to leave Heather alone. And yes, Bill, I’m guessing you can rattle off a list of famous androids. But the Movellans, they’re not like those movie androids. They’re a hell of a lot worse.”

  


Bill and River watched the TARDIS inch further and further away from the  sentient oil. When the oil was out of the TARDIS’ view, Bill asked River  “How’d you know about the oil?” 

“I’m an archaeologist.” 

“But, like, one that flies around in space and steals spaceships.”

“Right. Oh. I’m going to need some visual aids. River pulled the monitor down and turned it on, typing in some commands on a keyboard. “These...are...” River pulled up an image of Movellans walking around a corridor. “Movellans. The androids from Movella. I was on Movella around three thousand, give or take a few years, ago—your time, of course—when the Movellans created this sentient oil to entrap their enemies.” More typing. Daleks in the corridors of Skaro were on the monitor. “These are the Daleks. Mutants from the planet Skaro who are on a never-ending mission to destroy the universe.”

“I’m guessing not like _X-Men_ mutants.”

River nodded. “They’re like talking squid  in cans , but more horrific than that.  We’re heading towards near the end of this war,  the proper place in time where this oil should be .”

Heather opened  one of the doors  to the TARDIS.

River tapped Bill on her shoulder. “What is your friend doing?”

“I don’t know.”

They both grew silent as the y saw the  sentient oil heading closer to the TARDIS. 

“You grab Heather,” River said. “I’m going to have to push the TARDIS harder. Hopefully I won’t break her on the way to Movella. And shut the door.”

B ill ran to the doors of the TARDIS. She pushed  Heather out of the way of the  sentient oil and slammed the TARDIS doors shut.  The oil smashed against the TARDIS doors, but River was able to speed the TARDIS up so the oil wouldn’t seep into the TARDIS’ interior.

“Look, I didn’t mean to do that.” Bill grabbed Heather and picked her up off of the TARDIS floor. “Just wanted to keep you away from that oil blob.” 

“I wanted to leave.”

Bill blinked. “What? We’ve already left Bristol. We’re in outer space.”

“I wanted to leave.”

“God, does that blob have you hypnotized?”

“No.” Heather sounded confused.

“I’m not going to let that blob have you. You’re staying here with me.”

  


Once again confident they were all a safe distance from the sentient oil, River took Heather to the TARDIS’ medical bay. Heather sat on the bay’s medical table. River scanned Heather’s eyes with a scanner inside the bay.

“River, what’s wrong with me?” Heather didn’t sound possessed.

River moved the scanner from Heather’s eyes. “I can’t find anything wrong with your eyes or your brain. I can only conclude the sentient oil has some type of hypnotic effect. At some point, while you weren’t paying attention, the oil may have induced you in some way before making you susceptible to its suggestions.”

“How can we stop it?”

“I’m afraid the only way we can get the oil to affect you is to trick it into attacking a Dalek on Movella. My hope is that the oil will go back to the job its supposed to do: terrify Daleks.”

“I don’t like that we have to be a part of a war to get this oil away from Heather.”

River sighed. “I don’t like putting any of us in the middle of a war either, Bill. Especially the TARDIS. Out of all of us, she knows what war is like, and I bet she hates it. But it’s the only way to save Heather.”

Heather reached out for Bill’s hand and squeezed it. Bill squeezed her hand back.

  


River pressed a button in the TARDIS control room. But it wasn’t the control room of the Doctor with the hoodie and the eyebrows. River knew this was the control room of the Doctor with the very short hair and the black leather jacket, the one who snapped at her whenever she asked him about the Time War. Of course the Doctor didn’t remember that meeting; she sprayed this Doctor with mnemosine recall-wipe vapour after asking him questions.

“Isn’t this, like, that control room with all the round bits on the walls?”

“It is, Bill,” River said, “but the Doctor didn’t outfit that room with a closet.”

A bevy of clothes started flying into this control room.

“So it’s like a gigantic walk-in closet.”

“I’d guess you can say that now. He used to fly in this room. I assume he was tired of coral.” River pulled two outfits from the clothing rack. “I knew he had some Movellan costumes somewhere.”

“Is that a wig?” Bill pointed to what appeared to be a silver braided hairpiece. “Because...” She pointed to her Afro.

River nodded. “I understand.” She threw one of the wigs off of the costumes behind her back. “Don’t worry about it. The Movellans aren’t smart enough to detect the difference between that silver mop and real human hair. And the Daleks don’t know you two.”

“They know about you?”

River nodded again. “That’s what I’m counting on.”

“You didn’t grab a costume.”

River handed the costumes to Bill. She pulled out a perfume bottle and sprayed it on herself. River was instantly inside of a Movellan costume, complete with fake power pack and real Movellan gun. She also refused a silver braided wig over her hair.

“How’d you do that?” Bill asked.

“It’s a gift from a friend far, far away from where we’re going.”

Heather nodded. “You mean you stole it.”

“That’s exactly what I did, Heather.”

  


The TARDIS landed in a small room inside a building on Movella. River, Heather, and Bill didn’t step out of the TARDIS as soon as it landed.

“We’re going to look for a Dalek,” River said. “Obviously, this would be easier if we were on Skaro, but there has to be an errant Dalek running around here somewhere.”

“What do you want us to do?”

“That’s a good question, Bill. I’m going to lure a Dalek towards us. I’m going to stun it. I want Heather to hide behind it. And Bill, I want you to stay with her. Keep any Movellans away from her. For the moment, move together, like you’re a couple of Movellans. I’ll go ahead.” River looked at the monitor in the TARDIS. “And not a moment too soon, because that oil is coming here at any minute.”

Bill and Heather looked at each other and clasped hands as they all left the TARDIS.

  


After leaving the TARDIS and walking down a Movellan corridor, River ran down another corridor. It didn’t take long for River to bump into a stray Dalek. “STOP, MOVELLAN,” the Dalek said, aiming its stalk at River. “YOU SHALL BE EXTERMINATED.”

River shook her hair. “No. Guess again. Scan me.”

The Dalek scanned River. “YOU ARE RIVER SONG. YOU ARE ONE OF THE DOCTOR’S ALLIES.”

River aimed the Movellan gun at the Dalek. “You should be very worried. I’m proficient in all types of guns.”

The Dalek lowered its stalk. “I MUST RETREAT.”

“Yes, you should do that right now before you turn into bits of Dalekinum and flesh.”

The Dalek turned around and went down the corridor in the opposite direction. Unfortunately for the Dalek, it ran into Heather and Bill.

“Bill, Heather, use your guns now. Two quick presses should stun it.”

“That Dalek said it was going to exterminate River,” Heather whispered. “Do you think it’s going to kill us?”

“I know we just met River, but I think we can trust her,” Bill whispered back.

“Heather! Bill! Now!”

“Let’s do this,” Bill said, raising her Movellan gun.

Heather and Bill pressed the Movellan guns as River taught them to. The Dalek froze in the middle of the corridor.

“I AM FROZEN. YOU TWO HAVE FROZEN ME.”

River shot the casing with her Movellan gun. “And now you should be quiet.” She groaned. “I’ve heard enough ‘exterminates’ for a lifetime. I could stand to use a break. Oh, Heather? You will now be escorting this Dalek until the sentient oil arrives. We should try to head outside. It’s probably the best place for sentient oil to gobble up a Dalek.”

River walked quickly ahead of Heather, Bill, and the disabled Dalek. A devious smile formed on River’s face.

“If I’m supposed to be the bait for this oil, I guess I’ll have to push this Dalek.” Heather started pushing the Dalek. But the powerless Dalek was cumbersome to move, and the Kaled mutant, unable to say or do anything inside the Dalek shell, made the weight of the Dalek shell heavier.

“Need help?”

Heather groaned as she struggled to move the Dalek shell. “Yeah.”

“I’ll help you push.”

Once Bill helped Heather push the Dalek shell down the Movellan corridor, it started to move.

“We never talked a lot at St. Luke’s, yeah?” Bill asked Heather.

“No.”

“I thought I was too busy. Like, I’d go to work, and then I’d sneak into some lectures, like the ones hosted by the Doctor, and then I’d go to something like an evening class. And then I’d go home. I didn’t think about making time for you.”

“I’ve been focused on classes too. I think. That spaceship’s obsessed with my eye.”

“I don’t want you to fix your eye.”

“What?”

“I think it’s perfect, the star in your eye. You shouldn’t get surgery for it.”

Heather stopped pushing the Dalek. “Thanks...but I think I’ll still get surgery for it. Someday.”

Bill nodded. “It’s your decision.” Then she paused. She squat down and tried to hide herself with the Dalek. She took Heather’s face in her hands.

“We shouldn’t be doing this right now,” Heather said.

“I think this is what River wants us to do.”

“Make out in the middle of a war?”

“If she thinks the coast is clear for now.” Bill took a deep breath. “My heart’s racing.”

Bill and Heather kissed. Bill ignored her heart racing, her hands shaking. Heather steadied Bill’s hands, and they continued. It felt like they were off Movella, like they weren’t on any planet. So what if their kiss tasted like the canteen’s fries? Bill was kissing her longtime crush, and Heather was kissing her longtime crush, and that was all that mattered in that moment.

The moment was interrupted by three Movellans. They raised their guns toward the Dalek.

Bill and Heather stood up. The Movellans put down their guns. A blast from behind one of the Movellans made it fall to the floor.

“I’m sorry. I really thought the coast was clear for all of us.” It was River, who was at the furthest point of the corridor.

The two remaining Movellans turned and shot at River. Bill and Heather took out their Movellan guns and blasted the Movellans out of the way.

“That’ll teach me to play matchmaker in a war zone. Let’s hurry before we eradicate all the Movellans in this corridor.”

River waited until Heather and Bill could push the Dalek down the corridor. They all turned left down another corridor and headed for an exit, onto the gravelly, dry terrain outside.

  


River, Bill, and Heather waited for a few minutes until the sentient oil showed up on Movella. And it was a few, since the sentient oil wasn’t too far behind the TARDIS. Heather hid behind the disabled Dalek while River and Bill hid behind a rock.

The oil finally appeared on Movella. But before River could use her vortex manipulator to retrieve Heather, her vortex manipulator stopped working.

Bill noticed the vortex manipulator. “Why isn’t your big wristwatch working?”

“I have no idea, Bill. It was working before we arrived on Movella. It’s what I used to grab Heather and you and put you in the TARDIS.”

“We’re running out of time.”

“I know.”

Heather stood transfixed behind the Dalek. “I want to leave.” The sentient oil hypnotized her again. “Take me with you.”

Bill jumped from her hiding place and ran out to Heather.

River tried to grab Bill. Much to River’s shock, Bill evaded her grasp. “Bill, no!”

Bill never considered herself a fast or an athletic person. But something told her she needed to move to get Heather out of the way of the sentient oil. So she ran towards Heather.

Bill grabbed Heather’s right hand just as the sentient oil consumed the Dalek. They ran to where River was. All three watched the sentient oil fly to another part of Movella.

“I could’ve rescued her,” River said, “but it seems you did a better job than I would’ve done.”

  


After their adventure to Movella, Bill, Heather, and River met again, days later.

Bill took Heather to the bar near St Luke’s. While the two were chatting about the Doctor, his class, and what exactly was under the building the Doctor had his offices in, Bill noticed River sitting in the bar, in the same spot River was when she was observing the sentient oil. But before Bill could blink, River was by their table. River pointed outside, where the TARDIS was waiting. “I see you two are getting along well,” River said. “I feel I should make it up to you. The TARDIS and I would like to be your chauffeurs for a date. Anywhere you want to go, in time and space. And wherever you two feel comfortable, of course. So?”

Bill and Heather talked quietly to each other, but didn’t speak to River.

“It’s your loss,” River said before turning on her vortex manipulator, to appear in front of the TARDIS.

Bill and Heather looked at each other before Bill grabbed Heather’s hand. Together, they raced towards the TARDIS before it materialized away.


End file.
